Pretty much all of the things that came up when I Googled wiring nightmares just now are about networking and suchlike. I felt, therefore, I should share the details of what my friendly electrician has so far found in my flat, since he started working on the rewiring on Thursday.

Here are the highlights:

• Fuse box from the time of the ark, which obviously had problems with blowing. Therefore, at some point someone just put in two fuse wires into the fuses. Et voila: double the amps; also, serious fire risk. The fuses were actually black at the top where the wires had got way too hot.
  
• Three random cables running out from behind the electricity meter. They weren't actually connected to anything, they just made a mess of the wall. They've now been cut properly. He thinks they may have been used for old storage heaters or something.
  
• An earth wire that, erm, wasn't actually earthed.
  
• A cable which may have been used for some wall lights in the living room running off one of the sockets and up through the wall. Luckily, it wasn't live.
  
• A socket in the living room which had almost everything (TV, recorder, hi-fi, surround sound etc) plugged into it and which was so badly connected that, when it was taken off the wall, it started sparking and knocking the power out.
  
• A cooker which is running off a regular plug, as opposed to the big beast 30-amp cable that cookers pretty much need if they're to work properly.
  
• A boiler which is simply plugged in, rather than having a proper fused spur for it.
  
• A double socket UNDERNEATH THE SINK.
  
• A socket half way up the wall behind the kitchen door, with such a small cable running to it that plugging in anything more than a clock radio would possibly set fire to the wall. I almost used it for my iron this morning.
  
• Another double socket, run off that single one. Somehow. He hasn't quite figured out how that works yet.
  
• And, the best one: a double socket in the newly fitted kitchen which was obviously going to be a pain to connect to the main sockets line; so it's hooked into the lighting one instead. Therefore, if you have more than one light on and turn on, say, the kettle, all the power goes out. That's now, with a new fuse box. Before, it would probably just have gone on fire.

It's impressive stuff.

This is on top of the earlier discovery by my gas engineer that the fire is so badly fitted that every time it's used, fumes leak into the living room.

At least some of this stuff has now been made safe. Hopefully all the wiring will be sane by the end of the week, and then I can get started on other, more interesting, jobs. The electrician does say that this is possibly the worst botch of wiring at every stage that he has ever seen. I am impressed that my flat wins that prize.

On the plus side: I now have broadband!